who am i?!

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if you follow me on instagram, you will have probably noticed that i have been doing a lot of instabragging lately over the food that i am cooking. yes, real edible food! that i am cooking! by myself! with multiple ingredients and an oven! who am i?!

(also may i take this moment to apologize for instabragging. instabragging is the literal worst. actually, scratch that: instabragging about hitting the gym hard is the literal worst…almost guilty of that this week…)

(read: i hit the gym this week.)

i don’t know what has gotten into me. actually, that’s a lie, i do. while i was in portland, my grandma gave me cooking lessons (butter, butter, and more butter) and fawned over jeff. she then told me this week while we were laying in her hotel bed in salt lake watching judge judy (that lady is evil!) that he was a catch of sorts and i needed to learn to how to keep him. ha. wise woman, that one. (did i mention that she told all the ladies in her relief society that jeff was her future husband and proceeded to refer to him as that all week long?)

thus, i decided to try and start cooking!

i think i love it? rather, i think i love the compliments jeff gives me. i’m nearly positive he is fully aware how much of a sucker i am for compliments (no, seriously. tell me that i am the best toilet cleaner in the land and i’ll pridefully clean your toilet for a lifetime) and is using that to his advantage…clever, clever!

so people, please send me some recipes! preferably not with onions because i am allergic. milk, too. and potatoes. and also i think i am a bit of a hypochondriac? (…these ‘allergies’ are usually quite conditional; if you put some onion rings, a milkshake, and a loaf of bread in front of me, they magically disappear!).

also, while i am asking for advice, how do you put back up the fart barrier? as i wrote about before, i broke it way too early in the relationship but now it is gone. the other day at the gym jeff literally TILTED and let one loose! i gasped and angrily whisper yelled, “OH. MY. GOSH. we are not married…COURT ME!” ha. so gross.

morgan r., captain hottness.

for my photography assignment, i had to shoot complementary colors. or something? anyways, i shot morgan’s face! with my camera! isn’t she pretty? (…also sorry morgan…remember how i said no one would ever see these? ergh…yeah…)hiiiiiii miss perfect thing of america. also, i will have you know that this little shoot-the-face took approximately seven minutes…the lady can’t take a bad picture (well…actually…but just kidding). well, ten because i couldn’t hold the camera still (a man in a prius kept driving by and morgan was making me laugh! perhaps it was because we were squatting beside a sketchy dumpster?).

and scene! (also did i mention she is single and can bake you up something real nice?)

boring…but let me brag, please.

this year i could have been a vegetable prepper at a catering company, a line server at zupa’s, a cashier at wendy’s, a bathroom janitorial lady at heleman halls, a customer service assistant at nordstrom’s and even a ibc language recruiting lad at some random company…but i’m not. after applying to 2,342 jobs, i can now say that i am a production assistant at byu broadcasting! yippity pippity!

it was actually a sick joke. i have applied to 2,342 places all year-long and no one would ever call me back. on sunday, i was on the brink of discouragement and tears over my long-term state of unemployment and bleak financial future. i decided to (…sappy time) say a quick little prayer that SOMEONE would be interested in hiring me.

and hallelujah!

this fine monday morning, i woke up to a voicemail on my phone from the broadcasting place saying that they were interested in hiring me. then when i was calling him back, another job i had applied for called me and asked if they could schedule an interview. then! as i was checking my calendar to find a time that would work out, i got an email from another company offering me the job.

i was so stressed out and overstimulated i couldn’t even be grateful. but i am now. and i have a job! today has been better than three trillion mcdonald’s ice cream cones.

more to come about this later. for now, i must sleep! because i have WORK tomorrow (well…kind of. i just have to fill out paper work but, you know)!