engaged and underaged.

when jeff called to ask me out on our first date, i was mortified to tell him to pick me up at the dorms. i felt like i had basically and definitely just forfeitted every and any shots at an actual relationship. for the first few weeks, every time he’d drop me off i’d feel all panicked that he would suddenly realize that he was, in fact, dropping me off at heleman halls (…where there are curfews and strict visiting hours and floor sleepovers…!) and that i was, in fact, a nineteen year old baby.

ha.

thankfully, he just laughed off the awkwardness of the whole situation and began using my meal card and vending machine privileges to their full capacity. in fact, even today he makes jokes about it. when we were looking at cruises for our honeymoon, there was a cruise that was strongly suggested for kids/teens and married couples. he shrieked with delight and said that i’m both! this cruise was especially tailored for us! maybe they’ll have a teen room that i can hang out in? joy.

any time we are talking to a new group of his friends and family, i tend to try to avoid the question: “so, where do you live?” (along with: “how old are you, again?” and “how long have you been dating?”–ha!). i’ve learned to either quickly make a diversion from the conversation (like a coughing fit or panic attack) or just answer honestly and truly and own it (…or lie. jeff does it too! he says that he always looks the person in the eyes and thinks are they going to judge me? ha. sometimes i am 22 years old, we have been dating for 8 months, and our families were the best of friends growing up…like, basically it was an arranged marriage type of thing!…thanks, jeff?).that said…i think i am going to miss the conversation killing “…i’m a freshman…” answers and the uncomfortable heleman halls drop-offs where we are sharing a door way with another couple that’s on their very first date. i only have a week more of being weird-engaged-freshman-girl and i really just want to soak it up. maybe wear my wedding dress to church? tell everyone in my ward over the pulpit? blog post about it?

…or perhaps just fail some core classes so that i am a freshman once more? victory lap? perhaps?

animated.

you know that life-altering (LIFE! ALTERING!) moment when you hear your own voice on a recording? and you think to yourself THAT CAN’T BE ME! MY VOICE IS NOT THAT HIGH! SINCE WHEN?! (can anyone relate? please say yes…?)
i experienced those exact (well, not EXACT) same feelings today when i looked through my memory card and saw these pictures that paige had snapped of me and jeff at slab pizza (SUGGEST! SUGGEST!) when they were in town. what am i doing with my face? since when am i so animated? where did i come from?! (and, slightly related, WHY did i get my bangs cut at a hair school?!)

cringing, cringing, laughing, cringing. why? why?!

after-thoughts: did this post have a slight (or very strong!) undertone of narcissism? i’m aware. also maybe i’m digging for some compliments here: “brooke, you look great being animated!” “you guys are so cute!”  “you are unseasonably tan! it must be natural! not fake! totally not obvious!” it’s whatever…

barriers.

i’m going to feed it to you straight and not try to be poetic about this matter-at-hand: friday night at approximately 11:37, the fart barrier was broken…by me.

we were sitting in his little white car per usual. my feet were up on the dash and the heat was on low…i was relaxed. too relaxed, evidently. i was in the middle of telling a story about my childhood. i love talking about my childhood; well, talking and lying. most of the time i seriously embellish stories of my childhood (well, most of the time i seriously embellish stories of…everything). and then…

it came out. fast and short and sort of loud. just like my friend taylor!

i didn’t know how to react, for sure he had heard it! i decided immediately to own it…midsentence:

“i was so happy on my eighth ijustfartedjustthen.”

“…wait, what?”

“i was telling you about my eighth birthday party and how ijustfartedjustthen.”

“oh, well…there’s benefits to that…”

and then he ripped one. long and piercing.

….just kidding.

but i already miss it! it’s like your first kiss; you’re glad tofinally get it over with so your stomach will stop hurting so much (over nerves! or indigestion!) when you’re with the other person but once it’s gone, you miss it! you’ll never have it back!

stories of smelly farts and loud farts and it-wasn’t-me farts continued for the next half hour as i nodded along and thought about the monster i had created (and laughed hysterically)(and contributed my own stories)…what have i done?! I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS. i miss the barrier!

…and ijustfartedjustnow…(joke!)(…ish!)

 

alone-time irrationalness.

are you ever met with sweet, sweet moments and you are so excited over them that you act irrationally and spoil everything? was that too specific? like, for example, maybe your friend makes you your most favorite kind of cake and in a moment of hyper enthusiasm you decide to dump the cake on your head instead of eating it? or maybe you meet your most favorite celebrity and instead of asking for their autograph and taking a picture you decide to sprint away and scream your brains out?

i had one of those! i spoiled my sweet, sweet moment!

my lovely roommate avery’s mom is in town for the weekend and, as is customary when moms are in town for the weekend, avery has been bunking at the hotel. there is something that is magical about not sleeping in the dorms and waking up in a big, clean hotel room with a continental breakfast.

this means that i have the dorm all to myself. a rare occasion that should be savored and taken very seriously.

my first night of being alone in the room went…not as well as planned? i went to sleep on tuesday, excitedly planning my alone-in-the morning time for wednesday morning; what should i do? sing songs really loudly? read a book super quickly? try on all of avery’s clothes and lay in her bed? (juuuust kidding) oh, the options!

when the alarm sounded on wednesday morning, i popped out of bed! alone! immediately i turned on the light and stripped off all my clothes. i don’t really know why, perhaps simply because i could. after a few minutes of standing there, i realized that, as of late (…as of three years ago…), i wasn’t looking in tip-top condition; here and there was looking…portly. and i don’t even like the sight of my own body anyways! i shamefully picked up all my clothes off the ground and put them back on, grimacing at the wasted ten minutes.

next i decided to work out. i browsed youtube for the best at-home pilates videos on the internet and decided on one by a lady named jenny ho. or was it cho? no matter. i set my computer by the door on some books and turned up the volume as loud as possible…because i could! because i was alone!

five minutes into the video i realized that, for the people outside, it sounded like i was indulging in some…erotic videos. jenny was huffing and puffing and telling us to “juuuuust keeeeep going! you’ll be shivering with happiness by the end of this! come on! come on! come ON!”

…jenny, you bad girl, you.

exhausted from my flurry of excitement and disappointed that i had ruined my hour of solidarity, i got dressed, inhaled a waffle drenched in syrup and peanut butter, and made my way to class…shivering with happiness that i had finished the pilates workout.

 

sugar boo.

have you ever had a dream that is so real that when you wake up, you can’t decide if it’s actually reality? (crowd interaction, call me herbie hancock!)(truth: i have no idea who herbie hancock is…i just google’d ‘who interacts with their crowd a lot, a lot?’) on thursday i had one of those dreams!

my dream was that i was dating someone. a boy! he had brown hair and was on the basketball team and just thought i was the greatest thing in the whole land. we were so for each other! we held hands and kissed each others faces and ate out a whole lot and talked about celebrity gossip ad naseum and even dropped the L-bomb!

and it was real, guys! we really did love each other!

and he was actually a real person? and was actually on the basketball team? and from his twitter, i know he doesn’t like croutons? and we had had two interactions in REAL LIFE! 1. i was looking at gelato flavors in the food court and he walked by and said something in my direction(…ish…?) and 2. i was at a dance party and he said he liked my dance moves…sarcastically…very, very sarcastically.

but that’s besides the point, because we loved each other in my dream and were so meant to be! he just needed to realize it.

on saturday, i had accepted the fact that it was just a dream and that it would never happen…or so i thought.

as i was sitting there alongside my friends, i found myself feeling like i was dating him…in real life. i cheered extra loud and got all fired up when they subbed him out: “but he’s going to get cold!” “what are they doing?! oh, i hope this doesn’t upset him!” every time he scored, i hooted and hollered and swatted away all the fans that were undoubtedly looking at me, his sugar boo.

fortunately my family and outback steakhouse beckoned at half time. i fear that if not, i would have waited outside the locker room for him and swooped him up in my arms and put him in my backpack or something.

…and then i woke up! but just kidding.

the end.

p.s. isn’t that picture rad? you think? oh, thanks!

the five second rule is real, right?

germs are something i embrace. go ahead, you! cough on me. sneeze on me. drop my food on the ground before you give it to me. i welcome germs like i welcome…something you’d want to welcome, like discounts or new reality television shows or something?

anyways. that said. today i grossed out an entire assembly hall of 250 or so people with my germophilic ways (do you like what i just did there? made up a new word!).

this morning i really enjoyed my morning. mostly because i had a really, really strange dream in which i was rooming with a person at soccer camp who kept poking me in the chesticles? but anyways. i was really enjoying my morning and my oatmeal and my outfit picking and lost all track of time and was in a rush to get to my science class.

i may or may not have skipped brushing my teeth? i was in a rush, okay!

because i was in a rush (i am really overusing words: rush, enjoying, really…) i grabbed some gum and power-sprinted up to the engineering building. the engineering building. brooke is in the building for ENGINEERS (i am already sounding smarter, no?).

when i got to my classroom i peeped in through the window and noticed that the class had already started. perfect. no, but really…perfect! my outfit was cute and my hair was falling nicely and all eyes would be on me! (…oh my…vocalizing this is making me want to kick myself!)

i entered the classroom and scouted a seat but made eye contact with a few of my friends instead. i was super excited to see them? or super excited to do my super cute open-mouthed excited face or something? anyways, i waved at them furiously with my open-mouthed-excited face while walking right by the professor in the front of the classroom and, in doing so, dropped my gum right out of my mouth.

great.

i don’t do well in situations like this due to my inability to keep calm and not get flustered. if conversations are going awry on the phone, i just hang up. if i have to think on my feet and swoon a guy, i get creepy. if i have to shoot the penalty kick to win the district championship, i miss (crap. i thought i might be over this by now?).

so. in my moment of flusteration (do you like what i just did there?), i did what any classy lady would do: kept a smile on my face, did a silly little giggle, and…put the gum back in my mouth?

why did i do that?

for a brief second i thought that maybe, maaaaybe the class would not have seen this but that thought was dispelled by varying sounds of “yeeeelk!” and “nasty!”  from the class (with maybe one sound of “doesn’t she look cute? isn’t her hair falling nicely? i bet she brushed her teeth this morning!” …wait just kidding).

…needless to say, my friends that i was waving at didn’t want me to sit by them?

but the five second rule is real, right?

the awkward moment when…

…you unexpectedly run into someone at the grocery store that is coincidentally there buying you apology dr. pepper 10 and flowers…ha. it was awkward.

and NO you big nosy-pants, i will not tell you why he was apologizing (…okay fine, because he told me i was dressed like peter pan the night before…RUDE!)(…i kind of was but don’t tell him that…).

happy wednesday!

p.s. do you like the new theme? eh? eh?