life as of late…

for the past two episodes of netlix’d parks and rec (can i be couple-friends with will arnett and amy pohler already?)(…couple friends…eeeek…), i’ve been trying to  figure out the correct onomatopoeia to describe the sound of a deep inhale through the nostrils. my front-runners: ‘mmmm’, ‘ffffffff’, and ‘huuuurrrff’

maybe? kind of? are you feeling it?

now, enough of onomatopoeia, and on to me. that’s what we are all here for, right? (unless you are here for the other simply brooke–a fan fiction author that writes for digimon)

onwards: i’m married, you guys! and to answer the next question, it’s been great. people keep asking us if we like it and, if we are being truthful, we don’t really know yet. if being married is cruising, free meals, parties centered around your love, and a surplus of tagged facebook photos, then we are old pros. marriage is easy. ha. (…we have actually had a hard time adjusting from the cruise-life to real-life; we have to refrain from ordering 3 entrees and just leaving our garbage everywhere)

we do know that we love each other, though. it has been so fun to have him around 24/7 and to adjust to being married (answering to ‘brooke stapleton’, controlling nighttime gas, de-hair-ing the shower after use, and remembering that the crimson wave is a completely natural bodily function that happens once a month…to reiterate: i. am. not. dying.).

so here’s a little catch-up a la pictures (my life just looks better in the instagram ‘walden’ filter…) and a list (i’ll talk alllll about the actual ceremony later!):

one: we went back to my neck of the woods in northern idaho! we got all northern-idaho-y and rode the hiawatha trail (recommend! recommend!).

two: can you get over that sunset? me neither.

three: vegas, baby! we didn’t really mean to. nor did we want to. but we ended up in the crazy hot las vegas with my family and had a blast! i forget all the details and can’t really expound on this point but…it was a blast! exclamation point!

four: registering for a marriage license was sort of stressful. i thought that they were going to ask me really in-depth questions about him that i would have to know the right answer to (favorite color? elementary school crush? allergies?!). thankfully, they didn’t. but they did ask me my age…twice. “nine…teen…” (something about that ‘teen’ word evokes instant eyebrow raises?)

five: more lake time. but this time post-marriage…you know what that means! shared checking accounts! but really. jeff is slowly becoming me with the bowl of soup and can of ice-cold diet coke. and i am slowly becoming him with occasional showering and clothes washing. oy.

six: you know when you are apart from something for a while and you realize how much you actually love it? distance makes the heart go stronger? it’s like that one time i didn’t eat hot dogs for a year, just because. or when i haven’t seen my sisters in a while. they’re funny people, you know?  (and cute. and smart. and…another endearing adjective.)

seven: jeff and i have a problem. we both still think we are juniors in high school. we threw chad a surprise party (SURPRISEEEE!)(okay, side-note: all the kids hid in the bathroom to surprise him. five minutes before, i went into the bathroom and…relieved myself. thoroughly. ha. when they went in there, i heard someone say: “SICK! who farted?!” hahahaha…oops), and we both couldn’t help but try to impress everyone. i even overheard jeff telling a few of the boys about his high school football days that ended abruptly because he “got kicked off the team” (…you GUYS! he simply didn’t fundraise enough and broke his femur…dirt biking…cool points restored?).

eight: …we didn’t adjust well to a wedding event that wasn’t centered around us. like, what was that about? (only kidding. it was GREAT to not have to be paraded around– no strained smile muscles here!)

nine: hi hanna’s face and a plate full of brownies! when we got back to provo we realized that we live right next door to my morgan, hanna, avery, and maddy friend. mooching score: 1, us. thanks for the dinner, morgs ;) (eww. i never call her that. why did i just do that?)

ten: call us jim and pam! no really, please? i was on a quick job-scramble and applied everywhere…and ended up scoring a job at jeff’s place of work. ha. they have FREE fountain drinks there and chairs that spin and a softball team and everything! we work in two different departments but it’s still so fun having someone to carpool with and to kanoodle at the water cooler.

eleven: …and to take lunch breaks with, too. isn’t he handsome?

twelve: jeff’s brother shane is living here now! and they like to match and change tires together and stuff. (there’s your shout-out, shane. you happy?)

…school’s tomorrow. sleep tight!

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things i’m peeing my pants over…

first off, do you like my new hat? please tell me you like it. i got it today mostly, completely because of cute natalie and took it for a little test drive. a few questions, fellow hat-wearers, do you take them off in restaurants? how about department stores? what about when you’re sitting all by yourself watching reruns of toddlers in tiaras eating spoonful after spoonful of peanut butter? oh, bother.

onwards!

today i packed my entire life into three suitcases for five weeks worth of adventures. if you know me, you’d know that packing is one of the few things that can bring me to tears (along with sappy country songs, pixar movies, and my favorite shows getting cancelled). i am a terrible packer–on one trip i packed over eight swimsuits but only one shirt. yikes.

but this time i was happily packing! i am so excited for the next five weeks–lake trips, a family reunion, a new last name, and a cruise to the carribean are in store. are you peeing your pants yet? i am. speaking of, today at walmart i told the cashier that their bathrooms were so well hidden that i almost drained my main vein (not applicable for girls, i KNOW) right in the middle of electronics. she responded by telling me that she was suffering a strong case of sweaty-butt-syndrome and her underwear was sticking to her bum…i think i found my best friend today! just like me, she was literally incapable of making socially-acceptable small talk.

anyways, i will probably be a bit absent on the blog the next couple weeks. like, not completely but kind of. but! i will be posting over here next week about my style and other such silly things (please don’t laugh at my model attempts!)(…you promised!) …also i’m being nonchalant about this but i am stupidly excited! like, fifteen exclamation points excited!

happy saturday!

p.s. i’m a writer for craigslist now, don’t you know? if you are interested in a coffe-table or desk, look here and here.

californians…

my dad sent me this email today. i suppose he was just looking out for me? ha! my attendance at byu (he’s a former university of utah student) and my upcoming marriage to a california native are two pills that my dad seemingly has trouble fully swallowing… ;)

watch here.

awake.

did you ever see that movie starring jessica alba called awake? it was sick! she had her eyeballs transplanted and was seeing all these creepy face things and…anyways. the point is i am WIDE AWAKE right now. perhaps it is due to the fact that i took a three-hour (much needed!) nap today? or perhaps it is due to the fact that the two times i ran to the grocery store today i bought large cherry coke zeros and chugged them instantly.

speaking of people who are super kind (segue? oh yes i did!), today i stopped at the gas station before work to get a large bottle of water and a granola bar. the woman working at the counter was so nice! we had a three-minute conversation and at the end of every sentence she would call me an endearing name…every time! sugar, honey, sweetie, dear…oh, it was the best! thank you, dear chevron lady!

furthermore i bought a case of pepsi ‘next’ (with 60% less sugar! the thought!) today. i’ll tell you how it goes… and guess what? this weekend i played croquet and scored NINE POINTS? how am i so bad at every sport involving a stick and/or actual coordination (fishing…fishing…)?

also! also! i had a doctor’s appointment today in which the doctor told me all matter-of-fact that ‘men are like microwaves and women are like crockpots’ …i’ll let you guess what the doctor’s appointment was about. ha. she truly taught me the doctrine of…yes, that. i would love to say i didn’t sit there and giggle-blush the whole time…

finally, did you watch the kids’ choice awards? please tell me you did. and please tell me you saw selena and peeta-in-real-life posing together? oh yes they did! didn’t you like his haircut? and how do you feel about emma stone as a blonde?

…okay, that’s all. maybe i’ll sleep now.

night hiking pt. II

…i forgot that i had taken these last night! i had to bring a tripod for experimenting with the long-exposure…and also to take some self-timed pictures! ;) four pictures were taken rapid-fire style and jeff’s face really sums up his thoughts about my poses (and sound effects)…heaven help him! …the face in the last picture HAD to be a little staged…right?!

night hiking.

one thing i super-like about jeff is how he’s always up for adventure! big or small! (except he won’t do some things…like let me spin him around, swing-dancing style? why?!) his response to ‘can we wander around costco and eat every. single. sample?’and ‘can we go sky-dive with no parachutes?’ is the same: YES!

last night at precisely 9:55 he texted me while i was at work (…did you see how i did that there? dropped the work-bomb? working student…you’re impressed, no?) and said “let’s do something active tonight!” to which i said “night hike?” to which he said “YES!”


note to you: night hiking is super fun at midnight o’ clock but is not-so-super fun at seven a.m. the next morning. so tired! also, for the record, we are not ghosts. ha. i was just playing around with a really long exposure…or maybe not? (so tired! so not funny! forgive me?)

tonight…

…i cracked.

remember how i talked about eating healthier? pfffffft (the flavor of the month was mint oreo! MINT OREO, people!).

i justified my craving by explaining that i had a sore throat and had walked up a lot of stairs that day and it was that time of the month and…

MINT OREO (it’s only the flavor of the month for FOUR more days, i had to act quickly!)