likes + don’ts.

this is a picture from our honeymoon. jeff thought i looked like the quintessential modbod shopper with my t-shirt under the long dress combo. you’re welcome. consider me your beacon to modest dressing! (do i smell a sponsorship? c’mon, people!)

:: i am on one of my short-lived exercise kicks. like, a super kick. i’ve been trying to wake up early and run and pick things up off the ground and everything! but being so sore that i literally fall down on the toilet? i could probably live without that (waaaaait…when does the soreness go away, again?)

:: the support and love we got on our wedding day was truly amazing. like, so many congratulations and bed bath & beyond gift cards that my head could spin…but my perpetual hand cramp from writing all those thank you’s? yowza! i have a problem in which i want to write a novel to each person, describing the very moment we met and the reaction when i opened the gift and how much i just love it and what i ate that day and…you get the point. i’m just overly thankful or something? (p.s. to whomever gave me the dish towels: thank you, anonymous gifter!)

:: i love the start of the school-year (the sudden drive to try super hard and buy planners and put on real-people-clothes), but i don’t like that it is so blazing hot here (and deceptively so! the mornings always disguise themselves as ‘jacket-weather’ then BAM! you feel silly in your cardigan!). swoob/swass/swustache…they are all happening. on the daily. so that’s fun.

:: getting married is the best thing i have ever done, and i really do love my last name (i feel distinguished!) but guys! getting married is hard work! not just the before, but the after too. mostly i am referring to the social security office…i have found my h-e-double-chicken-legs on earth! i previously thought it was cafe rio on a busy day but no. this beats it out ten times over.  longest. line. ever.

:: the smell of cookies could honestly just kill me dead. i’m not really a cookie person but the aroma reminds me of my home and my mom and other such things. but the whole baking thing? what is therapeutic about it?! no seriously, what?!

:: i like when my jeffrey brings me home a delicious cubby’s salad for dinner butttt…no wait. no buts. all love.

p.s. thanks maggie for the idea!

life as of late…

for the past two episodes of netlix’d parks and rec (can i be couple-friends with will arnett and amy pohler already?)(…couple friends…eeeek…), i’ve been trying to  figure out the correct onomatopoeia to describe the sound of a deep inhale through the nostrils. my front-runners: ‘mmmm’, ‘ffffffff’, and ‘huuuurrrff’

maybe? kind of? are you feeling it?

now, enough of onomatopoeia, and on to me. that’s what we are all here for, right? (unless you are here for the other simply brooke–a fan fiction author that writes for digimon)

onwards: i’m married, you guys! and to answer the next question, it’s been great. people keep asking us if we like it and, if we are being truthful, we don’t really know yet. if being married is cruising, free meals, parties centered around your love, and a surplus of tagged facebook photos, then we are old pros. marriage is easy. ha. (…we have actually had a hard time adjusting from the cruise-life to real-life; we have to refrain from ordering 3 entrees and just leaving our garbage everywhere)

we do know that we love each other, though. it has been so fun to have him around 24/7 and to adjust to being married (answering to ‘brooke stapleton’, controlling nighttime gas, de-hair-ing the shower after use, and remembering that the crimson wave is a completely natural bodily function that happens once a month…to reiterate: i. am. not. dying.).

so here’s a little catch-up a la pictures (my life just looks better in the instagram ‘walden’ filter…) and a list (i’ll talk alllll about the actual ceremony later!):

one: we went back to my neck of the woods in northern idaho! we got all northern-idaho-y and rode the hiawatha trail (recommend! recommend!).

two: can you get over that sunset? me neither.

three: vegas, baby! we didn’t really mean to. nor did we want to. but we ended up in the crazy hot las vegas with my family and had a blast! i forget all the details and can’t really expound on this point but…it was a blast! exclamation point!

four: registering for a marriage license was sort of stressful. i thought that they were going to ask me really in-depth questions about him that i would have to know the right answer to (favorite color? elementary school crush? allergies?!). thankfully, they didn’t. but they did ask me my age…twice. “nine…teen…” (something about that ‘teen’ word evokes instant eyebrow raises?)

five: more lake time. but this time post-marriage…you know what that means! shared checking accounts! but really. jeff is slowly becoming me with the bowl of soup and can of ice-cold diet coke. and i am slowly becoming him with occasional showering and clothes washing. oy.

six: you know when you are apart from something for a while and you realize how much you actually love it? distance makes the heart go stronger? it’s like that one time i didn’t eat hot dogs for a year, just because. or when i haven’t seen my sisters in a while. they’re funny people, you know?  (and cute. and smart. and…another endearing adjective.)

seven: jeff and i have a problem. we both still think we are juniors in high school. we threw chad a surprise party (SURPRISEEEE!)(okay, side-note: all the kids hid in the bathroom to surprise him. five minutes before, i went into the bathroom and…relieved myself. thoroughly. ha. when they went in there, i heard someone say: “SICK! who farted?!” hahahaha…oops), and we both couldn’t help but try to impress everyone. i even overheard jeff telling a few of the boys about his high school football days that ended abruptly because he “got kicked off the team” (…you GUYS! he simply didn’t fundraise enough and broke his femur…dirt biking…cool points restored?).

eight: …we didn’t adjust well to a wedding event that wasn’t centered around us. like, what was that about? (only kidding. it was GREAT to not have to be paraded around– no strained smile muscles here!)

nine: hi hanna’s face and a plate full of brownies! when we got back to provo we realized that we live right next door to my morgan, hanna, avery, and maddy friend. mooching score: 1, us. thanks for the dinner, morgs ;) (eww. i never call her that. why did i just do that?)

ten: call us jim and pam! no really, please? i was on a quick job-scramble and applied everywhere…and ended up scoring a job at jeff’s place of work. ha. they have FREE fountain drinks there and chairs that spin and a softball team and everything! we work in two different departments but it’s still so fun having someone to carpool with and to kanoodle at the water cooler.

eleven: …and to take lunch breaks with, too. isn’t he handsome?

twelve: jeff’s brother shane is living here now! and they like to match and change tires together and stuff. (there’s your shout-out, shane. you happy?)

…school’s tomorrow. sleep tight!

things i don’t understand about boys…


(living in a house full of boys and growing up with a handful of guy-friends and more-than-friends-guy-friends, i feel like i have a good handle on the male race. sometimes. other times i am just left completely and entirely bewildered…)i don’t understand their…

::ability to sit and do the same mind-numbingly repetitive thing for hours and hours on end; only stopping to scratch their, in my brothers’ cases, mosman multipliers.

::unwillingness to work for food. when i am hungry, i will drop everything i am doing –be it exercising, studying, socializing– to tend to my ravenous needs. when i am hungry, i will eat…even if it means spending $15 for a mediocre meal or settling on a suspicious gas-station burritos and a day-old donut. boys, however, don’t seem to have that desire. for example, my brother chad won’t eat all day long if my mother doesn’t put the food in front of his face and force him to chew.

::(…on that note)real understanding of what ‘being hungry’ is. when i stumble upon delicious food, my hunger does not factor into whether or not i am going to eat…i am going to eat…you know? when i ask jeff if he is hungry he pauses for a few seconds as if he is listening to his stomach and generally bases his decisions off of that.

::obsession with being compared to bear grylls.

::love of lord of the rings, late night cartoon network shows, zooey deschanel, and all things involving fire.

::source of confidence and mood swings: height, how their team is doing, leg hair quantity and quality.

oh, boys…


that good, good.

::waking up obscenely early and hiking Y mountain…holy, polynesians! there were so many cute families up! and by cute i mean huge! each family consisted of like, twelve kids!

::finding my phone and my engagement ring. yes, i temporarily lost that little sparkler…worst(ish) six hours of my life! i have a sleep-walking problem and evidently slept walk over to my dresser and placed it inside the hood of a gray sweatshirt? thank heavens for answered prayers! bumper sticker that!

::a homemade meal made entirely by jeff. delicious whole wheat macaroni and cheese with spinach and olive oil and extra love…and strawberry shortcake for dessert! he is a dreamboat…so much so that i will disregard his affinity for outfits that make no sense– a button up chambray with basketball shorts? funky?

::long talks with my mother dear on the phone while slurping down a vanilla diet coke (with fresh lemons! thanks jennie!).

::swimming some late-night laps at the gym. wait, actually i am not thankful for this at all. i realized how terrible i am at swimming; i blame my parents, they only forced me to get to the minnow level! let us take from this: i went to the gym.

::saturdays….enough said.

today i am especially grateful for…

the sweet lady at the passport place for complimenting my eyebrows. bless you, passport place lady!

long runs at my own glacial pace… in other words, long walks with short jogging stints (and lots of nicki minaj!).

intramural sports in their entirety. why are the people with wives and kids on the sidelines always the most aggressive and outspoken? why?

a super slow day at a super lax job that led to a shared root beer float with jeff and a phone call to my mom (phones at work?! i know!).

triple A for fishing locked keys out of the car for the 3,435,264th time (not my fault! not my fault!).

power naps.

that in a few days i’ll be on my merry way to omaha! omaha? omaha! to pick up my nikki friend and drive her to provo for a tour of town and a visit with the uvu golf coach (she’s a stud).

coworkers that know me well enough to bring me a large diet coke with two squirts of cherry and crushed ice during shift changes.

…and this guy for being…himself.

unsolicited advice.

Uploaded from the Photobucket Android App
::do go see the avengers, this means war(in a dollar theater, of course!)(jeff and i were DYING laughing; “FTFO!”) and chronicle but DON’T go see the vow (channing tatum in a fedora? really?) and the lucky one …but maybe do go see that one just to gawk over the fruits of zac efron’s recent puberty. and do order the large popcorn and two large drink combo every time. (story! jeff always insists on getting the large, refillable tub of buttery popcorn and a few days ago i didn’t see the point of forking over the $6 so i improvised and plucked a freshly used tub out of the garbage and went to the concessions to sneakily get my FREE refill…jeff wasn’t having any of it! he refused! WHAT?! he shot down the best idea i ever had! sad face!)

::do go see a show at ‘comedy sportz’ in downtown provo if you haven’t already…i was rolling on the floor! well, not really, but almost! and get blackjack personal pan pizzas afterwards…and perhaps costa vida before? are you feeling that? but don’t park your car next to a creepy man who asks if you know who chris angel is and proceeds to levitate. wait…what?

::don’t lock your keys in your car at the grocery store, especially when it’s a three-mile walk home (why did i go to days market, again?!). but if you do, run into the store and impulsively grab a coconut water; two thumbs way UP! (or maybe? maybe i was just super thirsty? or felt super trendy?).

::don’t go shopping at the mall with jeff…just, don’t. his unspoken theory (or at least i’m almost sure): you should spend twice as much time as the item costs considering buying it. did that make sense? english? if a shirt costs 45 dollars, he will spend 90 minutes looking at it! HOLY! SMOKES! i am more of an impulse shopper…and that’s how i ended up with zebra print pants this week? i thought they were floral?

::don’t blow up your microwave making popcorn but do make ranch and panko chicken…but don’t make paula deen’s recipe that calls for 65 sticks of butter and 34 cups of margarine. oh, paula! oh! also! do make cilantro and lime quinoa, mac and cheese cups, and greek yogurt pancakes! :)

::don’t try to break all barriers with your roommate at one time. she will be overwhelmed. oops.

like a train on a track.

thursday it all caught up to me: the never-ending cold i am battling, the $50 ticket for rolling through a stop sign i SWEAR did not previously exist, the sub-par work i had handed in for photography, the upcoming week of finals in classes i have not (mentally) attended for weeks, the disappointing email i received this morning, the fact that i can not find ANYTHING to wear anymore and have had a perpetual hair day for months…

the stars were not in line. i spent most of thursday morning moping around. it felt so good! i rolled around in my self-pity like a…pig in its pig-sty? or something?

jeff noticed that i was in a bit of a funk (…the deep sighs were apparently quite telling…?) and dragged me to macey’s to get some soft serve ice cream and a fountain drink.

that’s when i snapped out of it! sipping on my diet coke heavily flavored with cherry i realized that i had an overwhelming amount of things to be grateful about!

like…the fact that i genuinely like my job. i really do! a few months ago i picked up a job at the tanning booth on a whim (…make fun of me, go ahead!), but i’ve ended up loving it. i love my coworkers and the people who come in and…knowing how much people’s backs sweat in utah county?

or that i have a mother that sends me sweet packages on EVERY HOLIDAY and is so patient with me and my terrible help in wedding planning (my response to 99% of the questions: “yeah! cool! do it! okay!” …i have no opinions, officially).

or that i have the best family for me in general. cousins included.

or that i have made some of the coolest and raddest friends here at byu. no, but seriously.

or that i still have the best friends at home that are always so uplifting and supportive and understanding of my terrible facebook chat manners (…sorry, taylor!).

or that morgan called me in a flurry to tell me that when she clicked on my blog link via twitter, an inappropriate picture of manhood at its finest popped up on her screen (i’m sorry, i’m sorry, YOU’RE WELCOME!)?

or that yesterday i literally had the best apple in my entire life! or that einstein’s bagels has bagel thins and $1 oatmeal raisin cookies! or that the semester is almost over! or that i am going to portland to visit my grandma with a slight brooklyn accent in a few weeks! or that a man told me yesterday that i looked like an anthropologist? okay?

or that in four short months i am marrying a boy who puts up with the fact that i only want to listen to jojo, b*witched, and disney on pandora and patiently gives me directions to his apartment when i call him and frantically explain how i am lost! i don’t know how i am lost, but i am! ha. poor guy.

or that it’s the freakin’ weekend! and almost, almost faturday! or that tomorrow it’s general conference!

see? all better. (thank heavens…the deep sighs were really getting tiresome!)