showered (last one!)

as aforementioned, i was thoroughly showered this weekend (i promise this is the last one!)(maybe?)(want to shower me more?)(i’m becoming less awkward…though i still feel the need to entertain the guests while simultaneously opening gifts–a skill that is harder than you’d think!). the most recent contrast was a stark contrast to the shower thrown on saturday–mostly because all the guests were under the age of 21 and no one really knew what they were doing; we were bridal shower newbies. and although we were first-timers and our young age was all-too-evident, we did one thing right: the food and decor. so yummy and so cute! i found myself saying that everything was ‘pinterest-worthy.’ a big, huge thanks to taylor and nikki for throwing together this day of cuteness!(and a bigger thanks to kylie for the provocative buttercream flavored gift that rhymes with ‘ripple ribbler’ –ha! such a beautiful sequence of events captured here…double chin and all!)

showered (again!)

my neighbor and long-time family friend rachel threw me a bridal shower along with my grandma and great-aunt (…who may be the classiest person i know; british accent and all!). it was held on my great aunts property and there were beautiful flowers, delicious food, and a slew of (refreshingly appropriate) gifts to aid me on my journey to domestication. oh, and there were strippers. lots of strippers
mckenzie approves of the strippers, apparently?

p.s. thanks to everyone who came and showered me!

we bought a zoo!

…or an apartment, rather. (but have you ever seen that movie? okay, bawled my eyes out! it was so touching and scarlett johansson officially never looks bad…ever. even in an ill-fitting zookeeper’s suit!) we are pretty, seriously excited about it…even though we can’t actually live there together yet…but, oh! is it fun to look at!and now i switch gears: how do you take a good self-picture on the phone, people?! jeff and i try so hard but every time the front camera is facing us we just…freeze. well, jeff does. he has this incredible ability to maintain the same face in every single picture (no, seriously. you should see all of our engagements!) while i twitch and dance like a strobe light. behold:…painful. this was supposed to be our ‘WE JUST SIGNED THE CONTRACT AND OWN AN APARTMENT!’ faces but, as you can see, FAIL. i think it is mostly due to our camera-awkwardness but also because we had, minutes before this picture attempt, realized that there was no dishwasher in the place that we had just signed for…and owned. three cheers for hand-washing? four cheers for paper plates and plastic cutlery?

i might just add this whole ‘selfy’ thing to the long, exhausted list of stuff that i am not very good at THUS pretend to think is lame. like slalom skiing, walking in heels, and hugging people with backpacks on (so lame!). as i told jeff on our first date, i am not humble by choice, i am humble by default (dangit, genes!).

now, five cheers to that!

gag-writing.

*disclaimer: this is one of those proud-parent, ushy-gushy posts that should probably have been written in gel pen. you might gag-read through it; it’s okay, i sort of gag-wrote it…

isn’t it weird when you are surprisingly unsurprised over someone’s actions? no? yes? can anyone relate? (i hate when people describe extremely specific situations that no one can actually relate to, like “the awkward moment when it’s 4:53 on march 5th and you forget your paper is due for physics…” …you know?)

anyways, today i had that experience. i was surprisingly unsurprised.

initially, jeff and i had an easy time apartment hunting. we found a cute duplex near the school that had a large kitchen, paint-able walls, and a precious wrap around porch. i know, right? i have thought about where i would hang the large portraits of myself and all my taxidermy this entire week.

unfortunately, today right before i left for work i got a text from the couple we were buying it from that, unknowingly, their landlord had sold the place to someone else. devastation! i instantly fell into a pit of ‘BUT IT HAD A WRAP-AROUND PORCH!’ sorrow and felt like we were doomed.

but jeff quietly soldiered on! by the time i started to consider the idea of living somewhere else, he had already made a list of five different housing options listed in order of price and availability. he set up times to meet with the people and, while i was at work, went to see each place and sent me reviews of each place with phrases like ‘medium-good storage’ and ‘sick nasty!’ (which i misinterpreted? since when does ‘sick nasty’ mean ‘let’s make a deposit!’…?).

now, seven hours later, we (HE) have narrowed it down to two bigger and better (and cuter!) apartments!

in summation: i was so blown away with gratitude and what-planet-did-you-come-from?!-ness…but i wasn’t surprised. it’s just so him. (cue gagging…).

who am i?!

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if you follow me on instagram, you will have probably noticed that i have been doing a lot of instabragging lately over the food that i am cooking. yes, real edible food! that i am cooking! by myself! with multiple ingredients and an oven! who am i?!

(also may i take this moment to apologize for instabragging. instabragging is the literal worst. actually, scratch that: instabragging about hitting the gym hard is the literal worst…almost guilty of that this week…)

(read: i hit the gym this week.)

i don’t know what has gotten into me. actually, that’s a lie, i do. while i was in portland, my grandma gave me cooking lessons (butter, butter, and more butter) and fawned over jeff. she then told me this week while we were laying in her hotel bed in salt lake watching judge judy (that lady is evil!) that he was a catch of sorts and i needed to learn to how to keep him. ha. wise woman, that one. (did i mention that she told all the ladies in her relief society that jeff was her future husband and proceeded to refer to him as that all week long?)

thus, i decided to try and start cooking!

i think i love it? rather, i think i love the compliments jeff gives me. i’m nearly positive he is fully aware how much of a sucker i am for compliments (no, seriously. tell me that i am the best toilet cleaner in the land and i’ll pridefully clean your toilet for a lifetime) and is using that to his advantage…clever, clever!

so people, please send me some recipes! preferably not with onions because i am allergic. milk, too. and potatoes. and also i think i am a bit of a hypochondriac? (…these ‘allergies’ are usually quite conditional; if you put some onion rings, a milkshake, and a loaf of bread in front of me, they magically disappear!).

also, while i am asking for advice, how do you put back up the fart barrier? as i wrote about before, i broke it way too early in the relationship but now it is gone. the other day at the gym jeff literally TILTED and let one loose! i gasped and angrily whisper yelled, “OH. MY. GOSH. we are not married…COURT ME!” ha. so gross.

we’re off!

…to oregon! to visit my grandma and soak in her brooklyn accent. i am so glad that finals week is over and that i came out (relatively) unscathed (truth: for two of my finals, i didn’t even look at my score. i simply handed them in and power-walked out the door…avoiding the score screen like it was some kind of naughty picture!). now here’s to the pacific northwest!

perfect timing (a bridal shower!).

you know how sometimes things are perfectly timed? like, almost eerily so?

like how rihanna came out with the liberating “oh no you didn’t!” jam ‘take a bow’ TWO DAYS after my ninth-grade-loverboy decided to take the road more…”frequently traveled”(metaphorically speaking, robert!). eery, no? or how the weather always seems to get chilly right when my food-baby makes its permanent stay (thank YOU, layering!).

OR how my bridal shower fell on the exact week that i decided to give up on doing laundry (yes, i have taken to wearing the scandalous panty sets i received under my finals-week uniform of sweats and a sweatshirt…it’s like my little fancy secret!)(…also i’m kind of out of food andmoney at the moment…the jar of edible body icing is beginning to look awfully appetizing…).

a big ol’ thanks to my cousin jennie for throwing the whole thing (and for answering all of our personal questions about…that…)(…hi kaleb…?) and to katie for letting us use her beautiful home. and to everyone who came for putting up with my struggles in being sexy (“it’s pretty! it’s just so…sheer?!”) and showering me with gifts and love and advice.