honeymooning.

i almost titled this post ‘honeymooning…each other’ but then i thought it’d be weird for everyone and didn’t. but now i just told you so…now you know.  jamaica was probably my favorite place that we stopped. i loved the atmosphere, the scenery (…it was really pretty…we just didn’t take any pictures of it–when i have the camera, all i take pictures of is my handsome devil man-boy), and the people (do i sound well-traveled or what?!). though we did get suckered out of $40 in jamaica. jeff is the second sweetest person in the world and can’t say ‘no’ and i freeze in times of confrontation so…

at least we got some beads we will never wear and mini-statues with our names on it (too bad the guy spelled mine ‘b-r-o-o-k-k’ …almost right?).

…and that’s the extent of the honeymoon details. ha.

side note: traveling with a husband, particularly a jeffy-husband, is the literal best. i think i fell in love with him 435263 times over.  you can borrow him sometime?

life as of late…

for the past two episodes of netlix’d parks and rec (can i be couple-friends with will arnett and amy pohler already?)(…couple friends…eeeek…), i’ve been trying to  figure out the correct onomatopoeia to describe the sound of a deep inhale through the nostrils. my front-runners: ‘mmmm’, ‘ffffffff’, and ‘huuuurrrff’

maybe? kind of? are you feeling it?

now, enough of onomatopoeia, and on to me. that’s what we are all here for, right? (unless you are here for the other simply brooke–a fan fiction author that writes for digimon)

onwards: i’m married, you guys! and to answer the next question, it’s been great. people keep asking us if we like it and, if we are being truthful, we don’t really know yet. if being married is cruising, free meals, parties centered around your love, and a surplus of tagged facebook photos, then we are old pros. marriage is easy. ha. (…we have actually had a hard time adjusting from the cruise-life to real-life; we have to refrain from ordering 3 entrees and just leaving our garbage everywhere)

we do know that we love each other, though. it has been so fun to have him around 24/7 and to adjust to being married (answering to ‘brooke stapleton’, controlling nighttime gas, de-hair-ing the shower after use, and remembering that the crimson wave is a completely natural bodily function that happens once a month…to reiterate: i. am. not. dying.).

so here’s a little catch-up a la pictures (my life just looks better in the instagram ‘walden’ filter…) and a list (i’ll talk alllll about the actual ceremony later!):

one: we went back to my neck of the woods in northern idaho! we got all northern-idaho-y and rode the hiawatha trail (recommend! recommend!).

two: can you get over that sunset? me neither.

three: vegas, baby! we didn’t really mean to. nor did we want to. but we ended up in the crazy hot las vegas with my family and had a blast! i forget all the details and can’t really expound on this point but…it was a blast! exclamation point!

four: registering for a marriage license was sort of stressful. i thought that they were going to ask me really in-depth questions about him that i would have to know the right answer to (favorite color? elementary school crush? allergies?!). thankfully, they didn’t. but they did ask me my age…twice. “nine…teen…” (something about that ‘teen’ word evokes instant eyebrow raises?)

five: more lake time. but this time post-marriage…you know what that means! shared checking accounts! but really. jeff is slowly becoming me with the bowl of soup and can of ice-cold diet coke. and i am slowly becoming him with occasional showering and clothes washing. oy.

six: you know when you are apart from something for a while and you realize how much you actually love it? distance makes the heart go stronger? it’s like that one time i didn’t eat hot dogs for a year, just because. or when i haven’t seen my sisters in a while. they’re funny people, you know?  (and cute. and smart. and…another endearing adjective.)

seven: jeff and i have a problem. we both still think we are juniors in high school. we threw chad a surprise party (SURPRISEEEE!)(okay, side-note: all the kids hid in the bathroom to surprise him. five minutes before, i went into the bathroom and…relieved myself. thoroughly. ha. when they went in there, i heard someone say: “SICK! who farted?!” hahahaha…oops), and we both couldn’t help but try to impress everyone. i even overheard jeff telling a few of the boys about his high school football days that ended abruptly because he “got kicked off the team” (…you GUYS! he simply didn’t fundraise enough and broke his femur…dirt biking…cool points restored?).

eight: …we didn’t adjust well to a wedding event that wasn’t centered around us. like, what was that about? (only kidding. it was GREAT to not have to be paraded around– no strained smile muscles here!)

nine: hi hanna’s face and a plate full of brownies! when we got back to provo we realized that we live right next door to my morgan, hanna, avery, and maddy friend. mooching score: 1, us. thanks for the dinner, morgs ;) (eww. i never call her that. why did i just do that?)

ten: call us jim and pam! no really, please? i was on a quick job-scramble and applied everywhere…and ended up scoring a job at jeff’s place of work. ha. they have FREE fountain drinks there and chairs that spin and a softball team and everything! we work in two different departments but it’s still so fun having someone to carpool with and to kanoodle at the water cooler.

eleven: …and to take lunch breaks with, too. isn’t he handsome?

twelve: jeff’s brother shane is living here now! and they like to match and change tires together and stuff. (there’s your shout-out, shane. you happy?)

…school’s tomorrow. sleep tight!

we’re off!

…to (hopefully) sunny southern california! we are going for jeff’s best friend’s wedding, to see his family, and to finalize some of our own wedding details (three words: funnel cake tasting…!). although we have a long drive ahead of us, i am looking forward to it! i have my well thought-out road trip snacks to munch on (pictured above) and the new norah jones’ album downloaded…plus a pretty good-looking driver, too ;). happy thursday!

the midwest(ish).

utah to nebraska to colorado to wyoming and back to utah in a mere 40-something hours…exhaustion, exhaustion, exhaustion…but well worth it for a mediocre ribeye sandwich at nebraskaland diner and overdue quality time with my nikki friend.i’d never been to the midwest before and found it really pretty with all the wide open space and trees… but so flat! (…insert widely understood prepubescent joke…) i had definitely been taking my utah mountains for granted! i am excited that my nikki friend is here and that i get to be her little tour guide around provo for the next few days!

our escape to portlandia.

after finals week, all we wanted to do was unwind, unwind, unwind…no alarm clocks, no hygienic obligations, no studying. and unwind, we did! our weekend in portland was incredibly relaxing although we adventured around for most of it! some highlights were going to the saturday’s market, learning to cook TWO dishes (we can live off of fried chicken and spaghetti forever, right?), watching newbie comics in a comedy club downtown (…some were so awkward; dear aspiring comic lady: joking about drinking from mason jars…not funny), and finally, FINALLY trying the highly recommended voodoo donuts (jeff ordered me their most inappropriate donut shaped like a…rocket ship. i had to tote a few blocks and even got stopped by an old woman who cooed “that looks DELICIOUS! where do i get one?!” … i think her husband got the point that she was a bit deprived. ha. only kidding), meeting up with my brother living in olympia, washington and gorging ourselves with p.f. changs, and lounging around at my grandma’s house that’s always full of the best junk food (mint chocolate oreos, pistachio ice cream, frozen heath bars…!).
(keep trying, mr. church-preacher man! the punk kids will eventually listen!)portland, you are weird. thanks for having us.

we’re off!

…to oregon! to visit my grandma and soak in her brooklyn accent. i am so glad that finals week is over and that i came out (relatively) unscathed (truth: for two of my finals, i didn’t even look at my score. i simply handed them in and power-walked out the door…avoiding the score screen like it was some kind of naughty picture!). now here’s to the pacific northwest!

airplaneness.

why am i incapable of having a normal airplane experience? you know, one where security is a breeze, where the airplane leaves on the schedules time, and where i have a normal conversation with the person next to me. or no conversation. either or.

maybe the person would be middle-aged? slightly  overweight? maybe they’d show me pictures of their little kids or their grandbabies or their…cats? maybe we’d talk about the weather or their favorite kardashian or how they like their steak?

one can only hope.

yesterday my mother and i drove up to spokane in the morning so that i could fly back to provo. she helped me get my bags (3 of them! what is wrong with me?!) out of the car, walked me to the terminal, and hugged me goodbye…only to pick me up a few hours later for a lunch at olive garden due to a broken down speedometer (my friend alyssa: “what are they going to do?! give us a ticket in the AIR?!”) and a six-hour delay. SIX HOURS (did i mention you were only allowed twenty minutes of free wifi? TWENTY MINUTES?!).

after lunch, i returned to the terminal and spotted a cute boy. or was he cute? or was i just hoping he was? no matter (let’s disregard the fact that he was carrying on a conversation with his two friends SO LOUDLY whilst having two headphones in…what are you listening to?). i noted his cuteness (or something?) and hoped that my seat would be in his general vicinity on the plane.

four hours later, we boarded. i sat next to the window with two vacant seats beside me and a “HI! I’M AVAILABLE” look on. perfect.

he sat right behind me…headphones still in. two twelve-year-old siblings plopped themselves right next to me and i decided to strike up conversation. they probably already regarded me as a role model, right? i asked them about school and christmas and what their favorite soda was (when did i get so bad at talking to twelve-year olds?) but the little girl was antsy to end the small talk and when there was a lull in the conversation she jumped in and told me she had a boyfriend. who was sixteen? and had better abs than her brother?

right.

i thought this was an opportune moment to intervene. i told her that she needed to play hard-to-get with him, and that she should be careful that he’s so much older. i encouraged her brother to be protective of her and make sure she makes good decisions with him.

somehow this conversation segued into how hot the guy sitting behind us was? she told me that she was going to ask for his name and that she found him SO HOT…hotter than her boyfriend, even! she asked me how old i thought he was and i said that he was definitely double her age. probably as old as her oldest brother? or weird uncle? or REALLY OFF LIMITS?

she took this as an invitation to take off her sweatshirt and reveal her spaghetti strap tank top. oh, hi. i thought about talking to her about the art of dressing mysteriously and of layering so much that you conceal your actual body shape because that’s sexy, right? fortunately for the both of us, the flight attendant came to pass out peanuts and pretzel and take our drink orders.

the (HOT!) boy behind us told his brothers (LOUDLY! why do you still have your headphones in? but HI!) how he preferred peanuts over pretzels to which my twelve-year-old flight companion whipped around and gave him her peanuts. is that suggestive?

five minutes later, the attendant came with the drinks and handed her a coke zero that “tasted SO weird! like it had JACK DANIELS IN IT!” (she was yelling).

the flight ended shortly after. i really think i made a good impression on them?

p.s. the boy told me (headphoneless) while we were at baggage claim that he was disappointed that his twelve-year-old girlfriend didn’t give him her number–maybe he’d have to find her on facebook, or something? maybe even myspace? …right when he finished talking i whipped off my sweatshirt and conveniently had on my spaghetti strap black tank top. yum.

but now i’m home. and it’s the first day of school! and could the bachelor be any more dramatic this season?! and why is the season preview so telling?