gag-writing.

*disclaimer: this is one of those proud-parent, ushy-gushy posts that should probably have been written in gel pen. you might gag-read through it; it’s okay, i sort of gag-wrote it…

isn’t it weird when you are surprisingly unsurprised over someone’s actions? no? yes? can anyone relate? (i hate when people describe extremely specific situations that no one can actually relate to, like “the awkward moment when it’s 4:53 on march 5th and you forget your paper is due for physics…” …you know?)

anyways, today i had that experience. i was surprisingly unsurprised.

initially, jeff and i had an easy time apartment hunting. we found a cute duplex near the school that had a large kitchen, paint-able walls, and a precious wrap around porch. i know, right? i have thought about where i would hang the large portraits of myself and all my taxidermy this entire week.

unfortunately, today right before i left for work i got a text from the couple we were buying it from that, unknowingly, their landlord had sold the place to someone else. devastation! i instantly fell into a pit of ‘BUT IT HAD A WRAP-AROUND PORCH!’ sorrow and felt like we were doomed.

but jeff quietly soldiered on! by the time i started to consider the idea of living somewhere else, he had already made a list of five different housing options listed in order of price and availability. he set up times to meet with the people and, while i was at work, went to see each place and sent me reviews of each place with phrases like ‘medium-good storage’ and ‘sick nasty!’ (which i misinterpreted? since when does ‘sick nasty’ mean ‘let’s make a deposit!’…?).

now, seven hours later, we (HE) have narrowed it down to two bigger and better (and cuter!) apartments!

in summation: i was so blown away with gratitude and what-planet-did-you-come-from?!-ness…but i wasn’t surprised. it’s just so him. (cue gagging…).

engaged and underaged.

when jeff called to ask me out on our first date, i was mortified to tell him to pick me up at the dorms. i felt like i had basically and definitely just forfeitted every and any shots at an actual relationship. for the first few weeks, every time he’d drop me off i’d feel all panicked that he would suddenly realize that he was, in fact, dropping me off at heleman halls (…where there are curfews and strict visiting hours and floor sleepovers…!) and that i was, in fact, a nineteen year old baby.

ha.

thankfully, he just laughed off the awkwardness of the whole situation and began using my meal card and vending machine privileges to their full capacity. in fact, even today he makes jokes about it. when we were looking at cruises for our honeymoon, there was a cruise that was strongly suggested for kids/teens and married couples. he shrieked with delight and said that i’m both! this cruise was especially tailored for us! maybe they’ll have a teen room that i can hang out in? joy.

any time we are talking to a new group of his friends and family, i tend to try to avoid the question: “so, where do you live?” (along with: “how old are you, again?” and “how long have you been dating?”–ha!). i’ve learned to either quickly make a diversion from the conversation (like a coughing fit or panic attack) or just answer honestly and truly and own it (…or lie. jeff does it too! he says that he always looks the person in the eyes and thinks are they going to judge me? ha. sometimes i am 22 years old, we have been dating for 8 months, and our families were the best of friends growing up…like, basically it was an arranged marriage type of thing!…thanks, jeff?).that said…i think i am going to miss the conversation killing “…i’m a freshman…” answers and the uncomfortable heleman halls drop-offs where we are sharing a door way with another couple that’s on their very first date. i only have a week more of being weird-engaged-freshman-girl and i really just want to soak it up. maybe wear my wedding dress to church? tell everyone in my ward over the pulpit? blog post about it?

…or perhaps just fail some core classes so that i am a freshman once more? victory lap? perhaps?

…obscene (a video!)

truth: without the help of the sweet (and savory!) allison riding, i am completely hopeless when it comes to video editing (…and cooking…and math…and tennis…). earlier this year, we did a farewell video for josh gill right before he left on his mission and i was so proud of it! i loved the way it turned out…but in all being-totally-seriousness, ally did everything. mostly i just peeked over her shoulder here and there till five in the morning and ate all of her teddy grahams.

that said, i am in no way a video editor. but i am a collector of really weird and inappropriate friends. yesterday we went on a little girl date to the salt lake real game and had quite the dance party in rachael’s convertible bug on the way down there. fortunately my camera was in my bag, so i got to capture a few of the most prized moments. the video is choppy and all over the place because i have NO video editing skills, but it captures their (rachael’s) inappropriateness nonetheless (…she’s kind of like a puppet…the best kind of puppet!).

…i love my friends :) (p.s. now can you see why the lady-parts doctor told me that i was ‘shockingly open’ about all things…lady?!? ha. no shame, no shame.)

night hiking.

one thing i super-like about jeff is how he’s always up for adventure! big or small! (except he won’t do some things…like let me spin him around, swing-dancing style? why?!) his response to ‘can we wander around costco and eat every. single. sample?’and ‘can we go sky-dive with no parachutes?’ is the same: YES!

last night at precisely 9:55 he texted me while i was at work (…did you see how i did that there? dropped the work-bomb? working student…you’re impressed, no?) and said “let’s do something active tonight!” to which i said “night hike?” to which he said “YES!”


note to you: night hiking is super fun at midnight o’ clock but is not-so-super fun at seven a.m. the next morning. so tired! also, for the record, we are not ghosts. ha. i was just playing around with a really long exposure…or maybe not? (so tired! so not funny! forgive me?)

almost cute.

sunday after church, the j-man (I LOVE NICKNAMES!!) and i decided that it would be all cute and cliche to go on a sunday drive. we could listen to music and take in the scenery and talk about lovely things like family and small pets and bad haircuts and just be all cute…and cliche?

anyways, we hopped in the car and began to aimlessly drive. where exactly do people go on sunday drives? and what constitutes a sunday drive? how long does it have to be? does it have to be scenic?

we made up our own rules and drove to park city (wondering the whole time if we were doing this whole ‘sunday drive’ thing correctly…).

when we got there, we didn’t know what to do. what are we supposed to look at? are we talking about the right things? what do i do with my hands?! he decided to show me his family’s old cabin but needed the code to get through the gates so he called his dad (while driving! naughty!).

as he was talking to his dad, he went down a side road that had no exit and needed to turn the car around. out of laziness and too much confidence in my light blue camry, jeff neglected to make a 3-point turn and rather just went for it…and drove straight into a snow bank. ha.

after attempting to push the car out ourselves and calling both of our parents for a few hours (“hey dad! what’s up! i’m good…yeah, so i was just wondering out of the blue…do we have triple a?”), we called a tow truck.

the guy took forever to find us but the light blue camry out with no problem. jeff and i yipped and pipped with happiness! we were free! we weren’t going to die! we were…completely out of gas? with no wallets? crap.

we debated what to do; beg for gas money? park the car and call someone to pick us up? or maybe just risk it and drive ‘fueled by the power of love’?

so we did! we drove! and we miraculously made it home! and now we are alive and we hate sunday drives! (where do you even go on these drives?! what is so great about them?!).

we were ALMOST cute that day. almost.

p.s. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAIGE MOSMAN! you’re the best. i hope that fourteen treats you well and that all of your wildest dreams come true. well, maybe not your WILDEST ones. scandal.

the five second rule is real, right?

germs are something i embrace. go ahead, you! cough on me. sneeze on me. drop my food on the ground before you give it to me. i welcome germs like i welcome…something you’d want to welcome, like discounts or new reality television shows or something?

anyways. that said. today i grossed out an entire assembly hall of 250 or so people with my germophilic ways (do you like what i just did there? made up a new word!).

this morning i really enjoyed my morning. mostly because i had a really, really strange dream in which i was rooming with a person at soccer camp who kept poking me in the chesticles? but anyways. i was really enjoying my morning and my oatmeal and my outfit picking and lost all track of time and was in a rush to get to my science class.

i may or may not have skipped brushing my teeth? i was in a rush, okay!

because i was in a rush (i am really overusing words: rush, enjoying, really…) i grabbed some gum and power-sprinted up to the engineering building. the engineering building. brooke is in the building for ENGINEERS (i am already sounding smarter, no?).

when i got to my classroom i peeped in through the window and noticed that the class had already started. perfect. no, but really…perfect! my outfit was cute and my hair was falling nicely and all eyes would be on me! (…oh my…vocalizing this is making me want to kick myself!)

i entered the classroom and scouted a seat but made eye contact with a few of my friends instead. i was super excited to see them? or super excited to do my super cute open-mouthed excited face or something? anyways, i waved at them furiously with my open-mouthed-excited face while walking right by the professor in the front of the classroom and, in doing so, dropped my gum right out of my mouth.

great.

i don’t do well in situations like this due to my inability to keep calm and not get flustered. if conversations are going awry on the phone, i just hang up. if i have to think on my feet and swoon a guy, i get creepy. if i have to shoot the penalty kick to win the district championship, i miss (crap. i thought i might be over this by now?).

so. in my moment of flusteration (do you like what i just did there?), i did what any classy lady would do: kept a smile on my face, did a silly little giggle, and…put the gum back in my mouth?

why did i do that?

for a brief second i thought that maybe, maaaaybe the class would not have seen this but that thought was dispelled by varying sounds of “yeeeelk!” and “nasty!”  from the class (with maybe one sound of “doesn’t she look cute? isn’t her hair falling nicely? i bet she brushed her teeth this morning!” …wait just kidding).

…needless to say, my friends that i was waving at didn’t want me to sit by them?

but the five second rule is real, right?