we bought a zoo!

…or an apartment, rather. (but have you ever seen that movie? okay, bawled my eyes out! it was so touching and scarlett johansson officially never looks bad…ever. even in an ill-fitting zookeeper’s suit!) we are pretty, seriously excited about it…even though we can’t actually live there together yet…but, oh! is it fun to look at!and now i switch gears: how do you take a good self-picture on the phone, people?! jeff and i try so hard but every time the front camera is facing us we just…freeze. well, jeff does. he has this incredible ability to maintain the same face in every single picture (no, seriously. you should see all of our engagements!) while i twitch and dance like a strobe light. behold:…painful. this was supposed to be our ‘WE JUST SIGNED THE CONTRACT AND OWN AN APARTMENT!’ faces but, as you can see, FAIL. i think it is mostly due to our camera-awkwardness but also because we had, minutes before this picture attempt, realized that there was no dishwasher in the place that we had just signed for…and owned. three cheers for hand-washing? four cheers for paper plates and plastic cutlery?

i might just add this whole ‘selfy’ thing to the long, exhausted list of stuff that i am not very good at THUS pretend to think is lame. like slalom skiing, walking in heels, and hugging people with backpacks on (so lame!). as i told jeff on our first date, i am not humble by choice, i am humble by default (dangit, genes!).

now, five cheers to that!

to my avery child.

i’m sitting on the bed of our dorm right now gazing longingly (oh hey, hey!) at your empty side of the room. all of your decorations are down, your bed is folded up, and your clothes are packed away. tomorrow you are moving out to go back to sunny california and then to backpack your spring away in europe, you crazy monkey!

you have seriously been the best roommate in the whole wide world. like, too good. like, we-had-no-social-life-for-the-first-few-months-because-we-only-spent-time-together type of good.

thank you for putting up with my large messesĀ  and odd sleeping habits and for always being there to give me a supportive ‘YOLO!’ when i confess that i got a 14% on my test or that i consumed 4,653 calories of soft serve in one sitting.

thank you for letting me borrow your rain boots and sweatshirts day-in and day-out and for throwing me the raddest surprise birthday party in all of the land.

thank you for introducing me to jeff and for helping him pick out my ring and for always being a breath of fresh air (well, not always; T.M.I: 1121 has a serious gas problem…) with your enthusiasm.

thank you for hosting me at your house (HI MIYAHARA FAMILY!) this summer and for sharing your hometown with me and for balancing out my idaho-ness with your california swagger. ha.

thank you for never saying the term ‘california swagger,’ too.

in summation: thank you for being my confidant, my self-esteem booster, my closet-sharer, my cleaning-check-doer, my california sunshine (borderline creepy…), my token (half!) asian friend, my partner-in-crime, my matchmaker, my roommate, and most of all my best friend.

baby girl, you the bestest. (lezzzz be friends?)

p.s. i don’t think this creepy and public ‘thank you’ note will help us to dispel the rumors of our true but often-overbearing love for each other…but, you know…thanks for understanding.

p.p.s. donkey kick, fumey numey, and all the rest of the inside jokes we shared (…i love inside jokes almost as much as i love nicknames and i will use any opportunity to prove that i actually have them with people…)

engaged and underaged.

when jeff called to ask me out on our first date, i was mortified to tell him to pick me up at the dorms. i felt like i had basically and definitely just forfeitted every and any shots at an actual relationship. for the first few weeks, every time he’d drop me off i’d feel all panicked that he would suddenly realize that he was, in fact, dropping me off at heleman halls (…where there are curfews and strict visiting hours and floor sleepovers…!) and that i was, in fact, a nineteen year old baby.

ha.

thankfully, he just laughed off the awkwardness of the whole situation and began using my meal card and vending machine privileges to their full capacity. in fact, even today he makes jokes about it. when we were looking at cruises for our honeymoon, there was a cruise that was strongly suggested for kids/teens and married couples. he shrieked with delight and said that i’m both! this cruise was especially tailored for us! maybe they’ll have a teen room that i can hang out in? joy.

any time we are talking to a new group of his friends and family, i tend to try to avoid the question: “so, where do you live?” (along with: “how old are you, again?” and “how long have you been dating?”–ha!). i’ve learned to either quickly make a diversion from the conversation (like a coughing fit or panic attack) or just answer honestly and truly and own it (…or lie. jeff does it too! he says that he always looks the person in the eyes and thinks are they going to judge me? ha. sometimes i am 22 years old, we have been dating for 8 months, and our families were the best of friends growing up…like, basically it was an arranged marriage type of thing!…thanks, jeff?).that said…i think i am going to miss the conversation killing “…i’m a freshman…” answers and the uncomfortable heleman halls drop-offs where we are sharing a door way with another couple that’s on their very first date. i only have a week more of being weird-engaged-freshman-girl and i really just want to soak it up. maybe wear my wedding dress to church? tell everyone in my ward over the pulpit? blog post about it?

…or perhaps just fail some core classes so that i am a freshman once more? victory lap? perhaps?

…obscene (a video!)

truth: without the help of the sweet (and savory!) allison riding, i am completely hopeless when it comes to video editing (…and cooking…and math…and tennis…). earlier this year, we did a farewell video for josh gill right before he left on his mission and i was so proud of it! i loved the way it turned out…but in all being-totally-seriousness, ally did everything. mostly i just peeked over her shoulder here and there till five in the morning and ate all of her teddy grahams.

that said, i am in no way a video editor. but i am a collector of really weird and inappropriate friends. yesterday we went on a little girl date to the salt lake real game and had quite the dance party in rachael’s convertible bug on the way down there. fortunately my camera was in my bag, so i got to capture a few of the most prized moments. the video is choppy and all over the place because i have NO video editing skills, but it captures their (rachael’s) inappropriateness nonetheless (…she’s kind of like a puppet…the best kind of puppet!).

…i love my friends :) (p.s. now can you see why the lady-parts doctor told me that i was ‘shockingly open’ about all things…lady?!? ha. no shame, no shame.)

sister wife dating.

on saturday, i went on a date (…70% of the reason i am telling this story…) with an older guy (…25%…) to the basketball game. we had a jolly grand time and stood in front of a group of mechanical engineering majors that liked to yell things like, “WHAT THE…CRAP!?!?!” and “I AM GOING TO…WRITE…A LETTER! OF COMPLAINT!” and other such things.

me and my date-man laughed most of the game about the people in back of us and talked about things like people with stutters (all of their sentences leave you with such anticipation! what are they going to say next?!) and most embarrassing moments and breaking the tooting-barrier with your roommate early (it’s crucial).

even though the conversation was light and bright and airy and the people in back of us served as the best comical relief ever (oh…and their was a basketball game going on…), my mind was focused in on one thing and one thing only: impressing the couple we were doubling with.

for some odd reason, whenever i am on a group date (why am i acting like this happens often? let’s just go with it?), i always feel the need to date every person in the group. i am like a sister wife or something! i just don’t want to impress my date, but i want to impress the date’s friend and his girlfriend and the guy serving us pizza and the girl bussing the table…it’s a problem.

anyways, i strained my right ear trying to listen to their conversation and get a feel for what they were like all throughout the game. he wasn’t happy with the refs? she was thirsty at one point? where could i find a mutual ground that would make them like me?!? thirst? ref-distaste? being thirsty while dis-tasting the ref?

that’s when i spotted it: her engagement ring. PERFECT! i planned to ask them allll about it when we had a moment and maybe if it went well they’d give me a goodnight kiss?

as soon as their was a lull in the game and conversation, i went for it. i lurched for her hand and screamed, “OH. MY. GOSH. THIS HAS TO BE THE PRETTIEST ENGAGEMENT RING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! when are you getting married? i just can’t get over this thing! i mean wow!”

to which she answered, “…errrm, well, you are actually looking at my ctr ring and that’s my right hand. ha. but here is my actual engagement ring…on my left hand!”

oh, yes. of course.

apparently i had scripted it so much in my mind that i forgot to actually look at which hand i was grabbing? i examined the actual engagement ring on her left hand (…that actually might have been the prettiest ring in all of the land…) and shamefully muttered out an “oh, yes. right. wow. that is pretty. i like the other one too…”

needless to say, no goodnight kiss from them. ha.

sugar boo.

have you ever had a dream that is so real that when you wake up, you can’t decide if it’s actually reality? (crowd interaction, call me herbie hancock!)(truth: i have no idea who herbie hancock is…i just google’d ‘who interacts with their crowd a lot, a lot?’) on thursday i had one of those dreams!

my dream was that i was dating someone. a boy! he had brown hair and was on the basketball team and just thought i was the greatest thing in the whole land. we were so for each other! we held hands and kissed each others faces and ate out a whole lot and talked about celebrity gossip ad naseum and even dropped the L-bomb!

and it was real, guys! we really did love each other!

and he was actually a real person? and was actually on the basketball team? and from his twitter, i know he doesn’t like croutons? and we had had two interactions in REAL LIFE! 1. i was looking at gelato flavors in the food court and he walked by and said something in my direction(…ish…?) and 2. i was at a dance party and he said he liked my dance moves…sarcastically…very, very sarcastically.

but that’s besides the point, because we loved each other in my dream and were so meant to be! he just needed to realize it.

on saturday, i had accepted the fact that it was just a dream and that it would never happen…or so i thought.

as i was sitting there alongside my friends, i found myself feeling like i was dating him…in real life. i cheered extra loud and got all fired up when they subbed him out: “but he’s going to get cold!” “what are they doing?! oh, i hope this doesn’t upset him!” every time he scored, i hooted and hollered and swatted away all the fans that were undoubtedly looking at me, his sugar boo.

fortunately my family and outback steakhouse beckoned at half time. i fear that if not, i would have waited outside the locker room for him and swooped him up in my arms and put him in my backpack or something.

…and then i woke up! but just kidding.

the end.

p.s. isn’t that picture rad? you think? oh, thanks!