…today i got hit by a car.no but seriously, i did! i was biking back from my weekly visit to gold n’ glow and mcd’s for my shot of sunshine and refill of diet coke (in hopes of trying to kick my dc drinking habit, i stopped buying it in the large cases at costco. FAIL! it has led me to power walking to mcd’s every morning, flinging $1.08 at the cashier lady, and procuring my large drink with a second refill later in the afternoon), when a silver car coming out of baskin-robbin’s made a right turn…right into me. the hit caused a dent in the back of my bike, a bruise on my buttside, and an interruption to my perfectly happy afternoon.
also his license plate fell off.
as i was lying (spread eagle, undoubtedly) on the ground trying to figure out what in the heavens was going on (and, also, trying to concoct some strands of obscenities to scream at the person…or a flirty little line to drop if he happened to be attractive–meet-cute, right?), a guy (…not cute) ran out of the car (coming to help me! i’ll forgive you, promise!), grabbed the license plate (help me up with your free hand?), wished me luck (thanks? help me up now?), and sprinted back into the car (okay, byeeeee…).
what! the! heck!
i continued to lie there, hoping to earn the most sympathy possible from all the passing cars, until a guy pulled over and asked me if i was okay (he was married, guys. bummer, right? wouldn’t that have been the ultimate meet-cute?) in which i blubbered back something along the lines of: ‘yes, yes quite. i just…driving back from gold n’ glow…my cruiser bike…i bet he got a pansy flavor of ice cream, like daiquiri ice or bubblegum…’
he left soon after(okay, byeeeee…).
as i walked my dented bike back, ENRAGED, i called my mom and told her about the baskin-robbin’s happenings in which she, ENRAGED, gave me the sympathy i was looking for.
and then my day just got better! my brother and his wife picked me up and took me to baskin-robbin’s (ironic, no?) in which i ordered two large scoops of jamoca (this is becoming a pattern with them; yesterday they dropped off six homemade egg rolls that i immediately inhaled) and rambled about my anger AND i had a package waiting for me at the cannon center from mister hawaiian adventure man filled with coconut m&m’s, chocolate covered macadamia nuts, mango slices, and even a custom fountain pen! hoodelay!
so, what can you offer me? a sympathetic comment? a case of diet cokes? some hot tamales, per chance?
darn you, pansy-ice-cream-flavor-bike-denter man. darn you.
p.s. if you’re ever around me, this story just mayhaps change a bit. like, i may say that the car flat ran over me and i died for a bit but then woke up after mr. baskin-robbin’s himself spoon fed me some chocolate and peanut butter ice cream and now they’re naming an ice cream flavor after me and my christmas miracle recovery. or maybe i’ll say that the guy was cute and now we are getting married. or maybe i’ll leave out the part that i was coming from gold n’ glow.
whatever the story, just let me tell it…’cause i got hit by a car!