who am i?!

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if you follow me on instagram, you will have probably noticed that i have been doing a lot of instabragging lately over the food that i am cooking. yes, real edible food! that i am cooking! by myself! with multiple ingredients and an oven! who am i?!

(also may i take this moment to apologize for instabragging. instabragging is the literal worst. actually, scratch that: instabragging about hitting the gym hard is the literal worst…almost guilty of that this week…)

(read: i hit the gym this week.)

i don’t know what has gotten into me. actually, that’s a lie, i do. while i was in portland, my grandma gave me cooking lessons (butter, butter, and more butter) and fawned over jeff. she then told me this week while we were laying in her hotel bed in salt lake watching judge judy (that lady is evil!) that he was a catch of sorts and i needed to learn to how to keep him. ha. wise woman, that one. (did i mention that she told all the ladies in her relief society that jeff was her future husband and proceeded to refer to him as that all week long?)

thus, i decided to try and start cooking!

i think i love it? rather, i think i love the compliments jeff gives me. i’m nearly positive he is fully aware how much of a sucker i am for compliments (no, seriously. tell me that i am the best toilet cleaner in the land and i’ll pridefully clean your toilet for a lifetime) and is using that to his advantage…clever, clever!

so people, please send me some recipes! preferably not with onions because i am allergic. milk, too. and potatoes. and also i think i am a bit of a hypochondriac? (…these ‘allergies’ are usually quite conditional; if you put some onion rings, a milkshake, and a loaf of bread in front of me, they magically disappear!).

also, while i am asking for advice, how do you put back up the fart barrier? as i wrote about before, i broke it way too early in the relationship but now it is gone. the other day at the gym jeff literally TILTED and let one loose! i gasped and angrily whisper yelled, “OH. MY. GOSH. we are not married…COURT ME!” ha. so gross.

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books.

as per recommendation of maggie, i read the fault in our stars by jonathon green last week. you guys! maggie knows! the book flows so naturally; the books makes you laugh out loud and cry salty tears without forcing anything on you. you know? and you can buy it at costco! a book and a $1.50 hot dog and fountain drink? could there be anything better?

and as per recommendation of everybody and their great aunt, i am now reading the hunger games. okay, hi! i get it now! the hype is right! i am only a few chapters in and i already have a major girl-crush on katniss everdeen. she is seriously bad-a!

now, do you have any book suggestions? please don’t be shy! i am sure i will love it! (…unless it’s harry potter; those books weigh too much for my small biceps…)(or if it’s twilight. i don’t like twilight for reasons i will not get in to) (okay, since you asked: don’t you think edward and bella’s relationship is slightly abusive? like, he’s so controlling! and not even good-looking! and a vampire!)

hit me with them! (book recommendations, that is)