on saturday, i went on a date (…70% of the reason i am telling this story…) with an older guy (…25%…) to the basketball game. we had a jolly grand time and stood in front of a group of mechanical engineering majors that liked to yell things like, “WHAT THE…CRAP!?!?!” and “I AM GOING TO…WRITE…A LETTER! OF COMPLAINT!” and other such things.
me and my date-man laughed most of the game about the people in back of us and talked about things like people with stutters (all of their sentences leave you with such anticipation! what are they going to say next?!) and most embarrassing moments and breaking the tooting-barrier with your roommate early (it’s crucial).
even though the conversation was light and bright and airy and the people in back of us served as the best comical relief ever (oh…and their was a basketball game going on…), my mind was focused in on one thing and one thing only: impressing the couple we were doubling with.
for some odd reason, whenever i am on a group date (why am i acting like this happens often? let’s just go with it?), i always feel the need to date every person in the group. i am like a sister wife or something! i just don’t want to impress my date, but i want to impress the date’s friend and his girlfriend and the guy serving us pizza and the girl bussing the table…it’s a problem.
anyways, i strained my right ear trying to listen to their conversation and get a feel for what they were like all throughout the game. he wasn’t happy with the refs? she was thirsty at one point? where could i find a mutual ground that would make them like me?!? thirst? ref-distaste? being thirsty while dis-tasting the ref?
that’s when i spotted it: her engagement ring. PERFECT! i planned to ask them allll about it when we had a moment and maybe if it went well they’d give me a goodnight kiss?
as soon as their was a lull in the game and conversation, i went for it. i lurched for her hand and screamed, “OH. MY. GOSH. THIS HAS TO BE THE PRETTIEST ENGAGEMENT RING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! when are you getting married? i just can’t get over this thing! i mean wow!”
to which she answered, “…errrm, well, you are actually looking at my ctr ring and that’s my right hand. ha. but here is my actual engagement ring…on my left hand!”
oh, yes. of course.
apparently i had scripted it so much in my mind that i forgot to actually look at which hand i was grabbing? i examined the actual engagement ring on her left hand (…that actually might have been the prettiest ring in all of the land…) and shamefully muttered out an “oh, yes. right. wow. that is pretty. i like the other one too…”
needless to say, no goodnight kiss from them. ha.