:: this lovely mask that the nurse-lady insisted i wear while in the waiting room. why? why?! WHY?! (even more awkward: getting caught taking this picture…oh, front camera, you are going to be the death of me).
:: choosing the exact wrong seat on the airplane back to salt lake city (it seemed like a winner! aisle seat! young couple to my right! no babies in sight!). the couple sitting next to me argued the entire time…about her calling him a dinosaur? apparently he made a weird face and she remarked that he looked like a dinosaur which seemingly sparked every insecurity in him; is it because i’m older than you? is it because of my nose? do i always look like a dinosaur? do you like dinosaurs? oy. vey.
:: trying to break the naked barrier (it has to be broken!) with a new roommate that always leaves when i’m changing. i am planning on just undressing in front of her; be it in the living room or kitchen or at the grocery store. it has to happen!
:: jeff trying to console me and my rants about how i know nothing about anything (finals week hit me hard)(…miss scarlet hit me harder!) by telling me that i know lots about lots of things. like tanning booths and celebrity gossip and things found in cosmopolitan, for instance. …i just blinked at him.
:: sitting by a kid in the testing center that blew a sharp little exhale after every. single. question. (…there were 180 questions!) i went through all kinds of emotions; at first i was annoyed, then infuriated, then oddly nostalgic? (his breath smelt like one of my high school friend’s did in the morning!), then humored.
:: the name ‘baby rat’; jeff realized that we lacked endearing names and decided to make up one of his one…thus, baby rat. would the name still seem marginally cute if i told you its namesake is the inevitable rat-tail that is the result of my high hairdo’s and buns.
:: going to the ‘happy sumo’ and seriously tiring the “I’M A HAPPY SUMO!” joke after nearly every bite.
:: newborn babies. i just don’t know what to think of them. i am the type of person that needs some assurance; am i funny? do you like me? is this face scary? am i wasting my effort entirely? are you sleeping?!
:: striking up casual and obligatory conversation with a person in passing and asking them where they are from…only for them to reply: “where am i not from?” umm…i don’t know. where are you not from? this could take a while. dang philosophicals.