I remember how confused I was that day, sweet January 7th, driving my light blue Corolla across the icy streets of Moscow to procure an equally icy $1.06 Diet Coke at McDonald’s. The radio was dialed to the always-trusty Z-Fun 106.1 and the playlist had been a rotating mix of Lil Wayne, T-Pain, and annoyance.
Still driving, the music became apart of the background; nothing but mere noise. Until my ears were met with sweet, sweet bliss and felt like they were in ear drum heaven. Britney Spears was blaring over my sound system (ALL CAPS!) Could that be Britney? Has she finally come back? BRITNEY?! I was so excited to hear her voice again, singing raunchy lyrics in a sexy voice to a catchy beat–the familiarity felt like the wearing the coziest, most favorite-est sweater after a long, hot summer.
But then I remember thinking: Wait…I don’t even really like Britney. Why am I so excited to hear her? Why are my inner thoughts in italics?
Answer: Because she left. And shaved her head. And popped out a few children. And was once married to K-Fed. And now she’s back.
Perhaps I was trying to generate the same feelings with the few blog readers that I have. I wanted you guys to miss me and my raunchy lyrics just liked I missed Britney; I wanted you to forget how much you really didn’t like me and be blinded by your cravings for my return.
And I’m back! Fortunately during my three-month blog hooky I didn’t shave my head or have a baby or get married to a back up dancer. I did, however, have the best summer of my life to date! I feel like I did so much and combined so much great stuff into one that it should be illegal; my summer was like a romantic-comedy-drama that starring Meryl Streep, Dianne Keaton, Meg Ryan AND Jennifer Anniston. And Ryan Gosling. Set in Italy. With a wonderful soundtrack and lovely resolve. A movie that makes you pee your pants laughing and cry from happiness and sadness and allergies-ness.
Or maybe it’s like a pizza. That has pepperoni and sweet onions and bell peppers and sausage and pineapple and pine nuts and bacon and basil and pesto and a thin crust dough and tomato-y sauce and mushrooms, lots of mushrooms (‘lots of mushrooms’: that is not a hint about how I spent my summer…mind you, I was at BYU). But it also has zero calories and doesn’t cause my stomach to break out in WWIII fifteen minutes later. Yeah, like a pizza.
In other words, it was too good to be true.
And now it’s over.
And now I’m back…and craving pizza.