my phone took a dump…

I entitle this, ‘Things I would rather be doing’ …a pig? How did this take a turn for the worse so quickly? I re-entitle this: ‘Places I’d rather be.’

1. the random store of odds and ends in Utah where they sold Buddhas by the busload and more forks than thought humanly possible.

2. with Morgan, eating the fruits of her baking classes. (she came into our hotel in Provo-town with a backpack full of breads and cinnamon rolls and pastries; I love friends in culinary school)

3. at quarter bowling, even though I hate bowling. I really do. The only things I like about it are the easily accessible fountain drink machine and the drunken bowling devotees with matching jackets.

4. ‘the cocoa bean’ cupcake shop; heavenly.

5. in sunny San Diego, obvs.

6. at the packed Salt Lake City airport with all of my family welcoming my cousin Dan home from his mission.

7. participating in pie-eating contests during ‘Pi Day’ at BYU and pretending to be college students at UVU led by the fearless(and shameless) tour guide, Morgan R.

…ending on an odd number seems wrong, I’ll make it even…

8. in James Franco’s arms, swooning myself to death.

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brotherly love?

I am trying to erase yesterday’s happenings from my mind but can’t seem to do so. I feel like if maybe I type it out for the world(world= the few people who ever read this) then it will no longer fester inside of me like an ulcer or a scratch(…?) or something else that festers due to resentment. Yeah, something like that.

Yesterday as I was experimenting with large barrel curling irons and the effects of sunless tanner(effective!) and how long I could stand watching the 40th birthday episode of ‘Bethenny Ever After’, my brother rushed into my room in a hot panic asking for my help(…my mother was in Spokane; I’m not usually the first-choice when someone is in need of help) with his tuxedo.

Right then and there, I should’ve known that things were not right. Everything about the scene was off: my brother asking for my help, my brother wearing a tuxedo, me lathering sunless tanner all over my legs, and Bethenny being annoying(I usually like her!).

When I asked him what exactly he needed help with(and why was he wearing a tux? and do my legs look orange? and does he think Bethenny looks fourty?), he looked downward…

His zipper wouldn’t zip.

I started debating all the plans of attack to fixing his pants; correction: I started debating all the plans of attack to fixing his pants that would also minimize the undesired family closeness.

The end result: me sewing up his fly while pretending that what was happening wasn’t actually happening while talking about the weather, and doubling numbers, and Bethenny’s husband Jason and other neutral conversation fillers while cursing inside my head because the only way I could sew it shut was to leave the pants on because they were small and tight and I was dying being that close to the Mosman Multiplier of Chad.

Did that come out fast? Because as I typed that, I didn’t breathe.

Let’s just pretend that never happened?

Also, does Bethenny look 40 to you? She doesn’t, right?

In the meantime, here’s some precious picture I took of Chad-man at his Frosh last weekend. My ma and pa were gone so I got to play the role of annoying-parent-with-a-camera.

Note his overenthusiastic, almost pained smile. It’s like he was foreseeing what was going to transpire the next weekend…

P.S. I have a serious girl-crush on the girl in the coral heels and bright lip stick. I do not remember being that stylish my freshman year.

 

6 reasons why my week was great

First and foremost, ogle at my new-found photoshoppin’ skills, would you? I have been looking at tutorials online and practicing my not-so-little tush off. Ogle!

P.S. It wasn’t even a sunny day. I am just that talented.

Now, on to the next thing.

6 reasons why my week was great:

1. On Monday, I wore a bright green pencil skirt that I found at a Goodwill in San Diego (…and Spanx, but that is besides the point) AND my red, Ruby Woo lipstick.

2. I wore heels! To school! The outfit is actually pictured above. That was the one second where I wasn’t teetering around somewhat self-consciously.

3. I got to sign up for my classes next year at BYU; why hello there, introduction to tap dancing.

4. During a meet and greet with the Spanish exchange students today at lunch, a boy in my Spanish class who I was standing beside looked at me in amazement and said, and I quote: “Whoa! I always thought you were some kind of giant, but now that I am standing beside you, you are normal sized!” …I liked that.

5. General conference was on Saturday and Sunday. Although I missed most of it, I was fortunate enough to catch Richard G. Scott’s talk about simple expressions of love–the man loves his wifey! I about teared up listening to him talk about her. (Watch it here.)

6. My mother discovered a delicious (and healthy!) new breakfast that’s so simple: cut up apples and put them in a bowl with a dash of cinnamon and some granola, microwave, add cool whip and enjoy. So, so good. Kim Mosman never fails me.

The end.

 

fun, fun, fun in san diego

All pictures were taken by my friend Kylie; she is seriously talented with the camera.

I was hoping these photos would give you a peek of what my week was like. Though I don’t think any of them quite capture how much food we consumed and how many food comas we went into (San Diego has some SERIOUSLY good food; I suggest: The Cottage, HoDad’s, and Pizza Port)(I also suggest bringing your fat pants and a pair of Spanx, but that is besides the point).

(Also there are no pictures of me lying on the airport floor, staring at the flight screen and trying to figure out a way to get home. I thought I would leave those out. My messy hair and tired face were less than picturesque.)