Begin pointless post:
In a moment of incredible boredom, I decided going to my school’s Sadie Hawkins dance sounded like an okay idea.
So, naturally, I asked two people.
And, naturally, they both accepted.
We tossed around the idea of famous threesomes(don’t Google and DON’T YouTube) for a few days and found ourselves in a pickle between the Holy Trinity(kidding), the three little pigs(not kidding), and the Harry Potter trio but an unscene contender proved to be the victor: the ‘Big 3’ (=Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh of the Miami Heat)(not kidding, unfortunately). Our costumes consisted of a Sharpie’d white tee-shirt and various sweat bands. I got to wear my yoga pants, so I didn’t complain.
Pre-dance we hit up the fanciest joint in town, Pizza Hut.
(Why does Pizza Hut guarantee a bubbly stomach and multiple trips to the restroom? Better question: why do I keep going there?)
Then, we argued about actually attending the dance and I found myself begging, pleading, and even trying to use yoga pants manipulation to convince them to go to the dance.
Thankfully, the yoga pants prevailed. We went to the dance. And paid a whole ten dollars. And stayed a whole twenty minutes.
I realized that I hadn’t actually wanted to go to the dance at all. I hadn’t heard one song they played nor did I notice the decorations. I hadn’t said ‘hello’ to anyone as we walked in or ‘goodbye’ as we walked out.
All I had wanted was to see the awkward interactions manifesting on the dance floor.
And I paid ten dollars for it.
And it was delightfully worth it.
So here is my formal thank you issued to Moscow High School dances and our lack of dancing skills. Thank you for never teaching us how to properly dance and for playing songs that confuse everyone and our lack of dance-floor instincts(Gold Digger by Kanye West and Love the way you Lie by Eminem prove to be my personal favorites–right when the music starts everyone tries to figure out a fitting dance and, without fail, fails).
Commence pointless post.
P.S. Valentines Day is tomorrow. Barf.